T h i r t y - F o u r t h

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Slug it out on the Web

The basic premise of Celebrity Slugfest (http://slugfest.kaizen.net) is simple enough: see people that annoy you and bask in the vicarious pleasure of messin' them up real bad. Like the ubiquitous stress balls and machine-gun keychains, Slugfest goes a long way towards releasing that pent-up tension and frustration resulting from a rough day's work. But thanks to recent advances in technology, Slugfest is far more satisfying.

Slugfest's ever-growing list of potential victims includes all of the perennial favorites: Rush Limbaugh, O.J. Simpson, Bill Gates, Tori Spelling, Marion Barry, Madonna, and your favorite and mine, PBS's big, purple, perky fuzzball: Barney (or rather, in a move undoubtedly intended to ward off overambitious copyright lawyers, "Blarney").

Once you've selected your victim (from a list conveniently divided into Bullies, Meanies, and Wusses), the fun begins. Using Macromedia's popular Shockwave plug-in, the recipient of your wrath comes to life on your screen, complete with annoying sound bytes (such as the purple wonder's taunt: a giggly "Here I go!").

The bell rings, and the fight begins. By working the keyboard, you can land a variety of blows to your opponent's body while attempting to avoid any permanent damage to your own. You'll need to be quick to merit seeing your nemesis slowly getting bruised and bloodied (die, Barney, die!!). If you've got what it takes, you may just send your opponent (damn dino-freak!) to the floor.

If you feel happy, content, and pretty much well-adjusted, Slugfest may not be for you. But if you've got some anger to work out, there's nothing like flooring your least-favorite celebrity (who do you love now, purple beast?!).

--Jon Kaufthal

Please E-mail StreetWeb@dp.upenn.edu with any questions or comments.

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